If I had a dollar for every time I spoke to a woman who said she didn't lift heavy weights (or any weights) because she didn't want to get "bulky", I'd have...okay maybe like 15 bucks. In any case, I've heard it enough to know that this a sticking point for so many people, and I'm tired of it.
You don't have to go out and be an Olympic bodybuilder, powerlifter or even a decent Crossfit athlete.
And unless you are a genetic freak, work out 8-10 hours a day, and/or take a whole lot of 'roids, you physically will NEVER look like my man Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
Now that may sound obvious to you; inherently, most women understand that you can't actually look like the Rock without some help. You do not have the hormones needed to build muscle like a man. Repeat: you, as a woman, are not a man. Are you taking a lot of testosterone right now? No? Good. YOU WILL NOT GET BULKY when you lift. Not to mention, there's plenty of skinny guys out there who can't do it either, and they are all silently screaming at you every time you say you're afraid to get big.
There's also the question of "toning." I hate this word. I cringe every time I see it on the cover of a women's fitness magazine. It is a non-word. You don't "tone" muscle. You build muscle, and how you look is body fat ratio to lean mass (genetics plays some role as well). At the risk of oversimplifying this, a woman with bigger muscles is going to look a lot more "toned" (ugh, sorry) than someone else at the same body fat percentage. Lifting your tiny pink weights a bunch of times is not going to get you leaner muscle.
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If you can detect the hint of frustration in my words, here's why. Lifting weights is important to your health. Building muscle is important to your health. So why do so many women slog through 45 minutes of steady state cardio and never pick up a barbell? Why, elliptical girl, are you denying yourself the ability to improve your health? You're missing out on one of the best and most controllable paths to longevity that we have as mere mortals.
The body loses bone density and muscle mass as we age. This is as inevitable as death, EXCEPT you can actually do something to offset the effects. You can be better than your slowly deteriorating body. Your cardio sessions can and should continue, but a strong heart won't stop the rest of you from wasting away and lowering your quality of life as you age. Lifting not only combats muscle loss, it actually boosts bone mineral density too. I don't know about you, but I'm not looking forward to being brittle and frail as part of my retirement plan. So I lift. And what if you're currently not at your ideal body weight? Think about this: the more muscle you have, the more calories you burn just by existing.
Real talk. I used to be the person slogging through long cardio sessions too. I was the slowpoke grinding my way through triathlons, hating myself during the race and almost immediately signing up for another one once I crossed the finish line. Then in my late twenties, I saw the light and realized I could be a lot more efficient in my workouts if I just picked up some weight.
Now, I love lifting weights. I can bench 110 pounds and deadlift 225 - this isn't elite level by any means but it is close to three times my own body weight. Yet, I don't think anyone's going to look at me and say I look like She-Hulk. I'm in this because I want to look and be strong, yes, but I also want to delay aging as far as I can control it. I want to go heavier, even, but you may not care to do so. That's perfectly fine. But not doing so at all or sticking with the pink weights isn't doing you any favors.
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If you've never lifted before, I understand it can be intimidating or overwhelming. Those meatheads taking mirror selfies and doing biceps curls in the squat rack don't look very inviting, but you don't need to start there. Start with dumbbells and a bench. Have someone you trust show you proper form. Pick up bigger dumbbells as you get stronger. Especially if you're a beginner, you'd be surprised how quickly your body adapts and progresses. Soon, you'll realize that you don't care if those big muscly dudes stare at you as you stroll into the squat rack or take plates off their bench to do deadlifts. You're not there to impress anybody. You're there to get stronger, and consequently to live better.
Articles to consider:
8 Reasons Women should Lift Weights
Women's Strength Training Guide