Are you happy with your body?
Loaded question, I know. If you say you love it, are you being arrogant or just confident? If you say you hate it, are you being hypercritical or just self-deprecating? What does it mean to actually have positive body image these days?
I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve struggled with body image nearly my whole life. Perhaps that is typical of a woman raised in the West, but at the same time, my ego doesn’t like to own up to it. Admitting it makes me feel shallow or *gasp* worse, weak. I’ve never been rail thin, nor have I ever come close to being classified as actually overweight. What reason would I have for the harsh way I sometimes judge my physical appearance?
Yes, ego is some of it. And with ego always comes insecurity. I’m sure all can relate to that in some way. Can I blame it on the normal culprits, like those shiny airbrushed magazine covers or celebrities? What about just being surrounded by lots of skinny people? Some childish part of me wants to blame it on my mom, who used to criticize my weight and occasionally inform me that “someone else” said I looked fat.
Now, at the ripe old age of 33, I think I have the healthiest view of my body than I’ve ever had. As I reflect on why that is, it’s certainly not because I think I’ve reached some ideal look for myself. In many ways, yes, I’m happy about seeing progress in the gym, in the form of more strength, endurance, and mobility. And yes, some of that is probably reflected in how I look physically. But if I’m being honest, I could list off a whole host of things I’d change if I had a magic wand – boulder shoulders, a defined six-pack, tighter glutes. While we're at it, let's add a couple inches in height! But that’s all fleeting and unimportant anyway. So I think it comes down to a couple of things that are harder to quantify.
Quality of life.
I’ve often been struck with how blessed I am that I’ve never had to deal with a serious health issue. In fact, the worst thing that’s ever happened to me was a broken finger in the ninth grade. Ridiculous, really, especially if you know me and have seen how reckless (okay, clumsy) I can be. I don’t take this blessing for granted, because I know there are many who are way less fortunate. I can be happy in the fact that I might be a little lumpy in some places but I’ve really got nothing to complain about. Most days, I have the time, energy and health to do whatever activity I want.
Discipline in a workout routine.
Working out has become my zen time. When I was apart from my loved ones for months at a time overseas, this habit kept me sane and grounded. Put on headphones and go, lift something heavy. Some have characterized this as an addiction or obsession, but I think that’s far from the truth, and also missing the point. I don’t do it because I think that otherwise I’ll get fat, or that I hate how I look right now. I do it because it feels good. Think about that. I work out because I love my body. It probably wasn’t too long ago when I had the exact opposite mindset – I hated my body, so I went into the gym looking to punish it. Perhaps that is helpful for some folks, but in the long term, exercise is meant to be freeing. Do it because you care about taking care of yourself. I think you’ll get better results.
Knowledge.
Not much is more frustrating to me than doing something that results in nothing. If I put my time into it, I want to know that it was worthwhile. We’ve all probably done things for our health and fitness that turned out to be a crock. Through a lot of wasted energy and tons of research, however, I have a pretty good understanding of basic fitness principles. Don’t get me wrong. The fitness industry is brimming with all kinds of conflicting ideas and advice, some of it well-intentioned and even well-researched. However, I know enough not to take things at face value. Examples: before and after pictures are not what they seem. Models on magazine covers might look like that for the hour it took to take the photo, and not much longer afterwards. A woman at 8% body fat might look good, but she isn’t getting her period and she’s probably not feeling too hot. A person can be categorized “obese” on the BMI scale, but actually have great body composition and be a beast in the weight room. Use knowledge to your advantage when it comes to your body image.
But I also don’t want to settle. Maybe you think I look fit right now? Please. I’ve been half-heartedly attempting to get shredded for ages, but I just have a hard time not eating fries. I’m trying to find the balance between self-improvement (being healthy and having goals) and being content (positivity and confidence). Will I ever be 100 percent happy with the way I look? Probably not. However, I’m not looking at myself like I’m some sort of failure with that either. I accept that balance is important. I can work out hard, and I can also enjoy fries without obsessing about where they end up (usually my love handles, c’est la vie). I strive for healthy, and my goal is to feel and perform better than all those “skinny” people around me when we’re old. I think that kind of confidence looks pretty good.